Always malaise.

Confusion and malaise are chasing me.
They are constantly poking my back.

They are constantly blurring my sight.

These "hostiles" I thought would never come back,
are in that corner, staring and waiting for me to open my soul's door.
I want to runaway and never look back.

Feel free, free of all this flooding in my heart and soul.

I want to runaway and never look back.

Vignette

Fate is like a sandstorm, it can change direction anytime, anywhere.

The End of The Affair

Eternity is said not to be an extension of time but an abscence of time, and sometimes it seemed to me that her abandonment touched that strange mathematical point of endlessness, a point with no width, occupying no space.

julian plenti / mex. 2010

fly as you might!

the commitment

a whirl of emotions, mixed and scrambled
pictures scatterd in my old yellow briks,
don't know what to do or feel when I revive them
so I try to pull them out with my fishing rod,
but some of ' em are too heavy, too good to bear in mind.
i wish so hard everyday, wish so hard not to crumble.
to be supportive. to just be there, silent.
I cling to the idea that we belong together.
I do not accept to see my life without you.
so, I propose a path together, regardless of the stones that stand in the road.
I love you through thick and thin. never forget that. never.

f.

The Unknown I

Does 2 lovers's heart beat at the same time?
Do they see the same stars at night when sleeping apart?

f.

november

My soul has been ripped

by the knives of slow time

The Pendulum

a pit full of emotions
half-full
...empty ...
or
full to the brim

the gazing eye
completely alien
betrays
becoming
a witness of the grim

the question
is
for us to ease?
"how far is it worth...
...if life is nothing but a dream?"

-f-

Bricks

Limitations and a red line, what is right and wrong always glued on my forehead. All this mixture create a mask and a wall I dont wanna carry on my back. Fake illusions, always trying to give the correct amount of sympathy for them. But in the end, that was it: just fake illusions. I keep wondering, is it me? do I have the key for compasion?, is there a magical spell to open the door of happiness?
where is the red botton?

Many others think all this pressure is for granted.
Those many others think they have this keen eye.
Those particular others....

Sometimes I feel I am pushing this to hard.
Sometimes I just feel I have to let the flow go.
Sometimes I literally feel like choking on the unawareness of their sight.

All this demons I´ve created are becoming spies, witnessess of my future plans.
I hope they keep quiet.
I hope they keep staring, mouthless and cautious.
...for the sake of my mind.

f.

The H sonnet for Love

for many years you've been more of a hindrance than a help
your "true" presence seems to be a hoax
and the consequence: bewildered minds
your words are a hodgepodge of senses inside and, in spite of all these, I consantly pay homage to this Queen,
the Master of all times
the Greatest part of my life: "a hearty greeting to L O V E ".

frags.

Reflex

As strange as it may seem, this constant movement inside is motivating.

Far from wanting to flee, (or else dissappear to feel safe), my "vulnerable self" is kept still, motionless by the gaze.
I look askance. Half closed, "tired eyelids".
My mind doesn't stop thinking:
Is this is a sign of victory?

Does this mirror reflects me as I am? I am scared of what I see, of what I feel.
Here is the ladder.
fgmta.

Two

Montreal 2008

Almost 6 months

pic by:
Fragz.
Montreal 2008

antics

...I swallowed the letter. Each word cut my throat. Each sentence tore my flesh from inside. I kept wondering why I felt so much anger every time I swallowed a piece of paper. Blood came out in tears. Everything you wrote was a sharp knife. Eventhough i never knew what you wrote. I bleeded myself dry, and my heart is white now. I still keep wondering what was written in that letter.

F.

Fixing

Invisible.

I don't want the staring.

My heart is blaming herself.

F.

Panic Attack

blurry sight
fear ghosts pass by

you have so much to give
and so much to receive

the clock is ticking
time is waiting to be taken

here, take it, this one is for you
only your soul will know what to do

i am here, heart open
the rest is still unwritten
this story depends on you

frag.
™

dunes

fear is the mind killer

we haven't met

don't hesitate

both are one

hearts unite

don't waste time

our love is passionate

we must be brave

don't step back

too good to be true

no reason to be over

don't navigate

i love u

you love me

the only thing that matters.

frag.

seven days

time traveller
1 second
i need her
the other minute
i want her
endlessly
eternally

[(((for a moment i want to rip my heart)))

(((my mind)))

(((my face)))

and become a non - hearted stranger

without you my heart is lost

dead

melancholic]

time traveller
i am seeking for boundaries
to delimit my space & mind
to delimit my heart
and avoid the leaks of love

time traveller

a light of love
i am just waiting for that precise second
so my eyes can see her again
and start this story
this cycle
for eternal life

frag.

so much to give

i walk

i see

i think

i conclude

two distant hearts

one meaningful feeling

i need to see you

i so much need to feel you

i trust

i believe

don't want to fall

don't want to be hurt

my head is up

my heart is anxious

on behalf of love: this is mine

i got so much to give

frag

Masks

1.

When I was a little girl, I found a green mask hidden in one of the attics’ corner. I blew the dust off. I took it close to my face and focused my sight through the tiny eye holes.
What a surprise! My view became black and white. All of a sudden, colors vanished like leaves on winter. Everything was blurry. I felt perverse.

(I was capable to see life passing by in a different way through those tiny eye holes.)
I put it on, and it felt good. I felt secure. I felt confidence. It was not me. I was extraneous of my outside. I did not know everything was fake, that nothing was REAL.
Maybe I was just pretending to be someone else.

Since then, I always had on my green mask.
This other self was the only thing I had for real...it felt so green.
No words felt like knifes anymore.
No rocks of pain could hurt my little body.
No more blood, no more tears.
But it was not me.

I got lost. I didn’t recognize myself. This mask, I couldn’t take it off my face.I was living another life, my mask was guiding me through the wrong path.

Anxiety
Negative thoughts.

Wrong words spoken.
Right words unspoken.
I wasn’t able to domain my own self!

I'm DEAD.

- 2 -

When I was 18 years old, I decided to take my green mask off my face.
Once a delicate voice told me:
“Don’t fight against the mask, you can take it off anytime you want, it is just a matter of deciding it by your own means”
I took it off.

God It was painful!

III
A door opened.
I felt free.
The air smelled different.
Things felt smoother.
My sight recovered its colors.
Unspoken words came out of my mouth.
I threw my ego into a pit.
No more boundaries.
No more guilt.
This basket full of Freudian stuff will be kept locked in my attic.

F.

I

Foto: Tania Uribe '08

So out of time and place.
I feel the magic that embraces.
A magical touch drawing the last trace.
Is this the path?
Is this the right way for happiness?
I want this to function.
I want to be of use.
I want to be functional.
I want to give you peace.

frag.

Tag me

Welter in my own sweat, weltering and weltered.
Peevish I am, untouchable by hands, untouchable by words and silence.
Something is inside of me, something I can feel.
A hunk of peace, a piece of riot; and yet, nothing makes sense at all.
My bed has become a foe for my dreams, and my sight astray, not ready to focus.
Fear is now my ally and witness, watching my life pass by.
Mocking me. Laughing at me.
I have no self-control.
I bend, I beg, I bet this is only a matter of time.

frag

Lost & found souls

...roaming in my black suit, waiting for the love of my life.
Thought I had it, lost and found it.

Blinded by a ray of light....and yet, it seemed so real.
My hands were capable, they felt it, or thought they did.
My heart excited, so happy feeling this red thing.

Life is a mixture of souls, some vanish, some persist.
She is one of those. Pink color costume, shiny and tiny.
She just makes me so happy I could cry.
When I touch her I melt inside.
When I see her, I burn.
...when she smiles back at me I die.
...it stops, breathless, motionless: yes she loves me back.

I've been wandering, looking for the love of my life.
There you are, I found you.
I stare at you.
I LOVE YOU.

frag.

Love, evoL

I am a CUPCAKE LOVER!
'Cause they make my life Sweeter
&
Better

frag.

El acto geométrico del amor

Ocurre en la tercera dimensión
donde el destino,
es la resultante a la
tercer coordenada.
G. Tagle. "Esquirlas"

X - nom
Y - nat

...y mi destino eres Tu.

Heart fulfillment

"Can't you see what you've done to my heart...

...and soul?

This is a Waste Land now..."

-P.Banks-

Numb

Watching the cord passing by. So many nights, so many visions.
Extremely sure of the unwanted, please! no pain & no fear! I plead for it FASTER! Days run, seconds fly, and yet, everything is the same. Some say: "don't force it, it will come, just let it be, let it flow."And this is how it goes: me staring at the moon, smoking, thinking, living? It doesn't matter, feelings doesn't matter, she says....

FraG.

Si

Tus ojos me dicen que si.

Tus manos me dicen que si.

¡Tus nervios me lo dicen!

Tu respiración. Esa tensión que siento cuando estoy a tu lado.

Tus gestos. Tus dedos en la pierna, en constante movimiento.

Invitando a los míos a darles calma. A decirles: SI.

Tu sonrisa.

Simplemente tus ojos me dicen que si.

Y los míos, los míos aceptan la invitación.

Frag.

stolen breathe.
beating hearts.
sweaty hands and namless acts.
words unspoken.
feels confronting.
dancing lips and complex facts.

frag.

Strange things happen...

not trying to understand why...or how...

you just came by and I said hi.

not trying to understand why...or how...

it is just that:

strange things happen all the time...

don't run, don't say goodbye...

hello stranger!

frag

The book of light pt. 1

Oh yeah...so good, so sweet, so calm. The sky...I can see it. No clouds, no rain, just blue, so clear!
I feel fine, holding hands, we can reach heaven.
I believe, yes, I believe I can!
I feel no fear, no guilt. I have the key!
Love is red. They say. Love is grey.
Let's run! Let's Hide!
Stuck? Stuck in the middle.
But one day, there will be one day...when I can see the sky again.
A smile on my face, my heart on my chest.
No pain, just memories like drops draining in the face.
"Relief...oh yeah! so good, so sweet, so calm" - I whisper to you.

fgmta

My lost soul

Don't know exactly what is happening.
Thought this would be harder, but right now I am floating.
I don't catch the images in my mind.
I try to grab one, but it melts as I try to stare at it and comprehend.
I am floating in this grey water. Moving my hands drawing a path.
The moon above is the witness of my deception.
She just pulls me back, avoiding to commit the same mistake again.
"Don't use your hands, just let the flow slow"
"Don't go back there, there are many ways out"
My treacherous mind! sometimes white, sometimes black!
Don't want to grab the polaroids.
Don't want to develop any picture of what reminds of you inside of me.
"Time will tell...don't get lost. Keep on floating. I am keeping an eye on you"

frag

The Scepter

The S C E P T E R

Walking in the rope of hope.
Asking myself: Where is my scope?
I strode and stroke my hand on your shoulder.

This scepter I carry gives me power & force.
Though, sometimes it blends and causes despair.
Love, a moldy love spread on your hands.

frg.

Two in one, 2X1

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

The Stare

Many things are coming,

Many things I have not caught

I know the roots of my future are still there.
So many plans.
So many visions.

Grabbing my fork, staring at the moon…
I want to pick up the first one better for me.

Time is consuming us and our plans are floating,
just staring at us.
Staring at us.

Are you tired of waiting?
Or just anxious of what is coming.
The unexpected.

So many things I have in my mind
Feels like inside a rocketship heading Mars.
With all this black surrounding and embraacing

And there they are
Just staring
Staring at us both.

--->(frag}

The Almoner

The pointers are burning your flesh and bones. But you emboss your soul in the walls, leaving clefts that reminds us the pain.

You beg for no attention, you beg for them not to notice.

But pleas are not caught.

They bury in your moaning heart.

The almoner has come, and yet he has gone.

Many doubts in the air, and the pain is still there.

What have you done?

Soon the sun begrime its fire, embracing and holding so tight.

I look from the outside, dawdling and fooling around.

Cheating myself.

I "want to believe" nothing is happening.

The almoner has come, and yet he has gone.

I am deaf, i just stare and blink.
Stare and Blink
Time is consuming you, there's no more flesh.
So desperate, so anxious, so you.

(.:.)-->f. r. a. g.

Blurry

Life is there, FlOATING!...it is just a matter of the way you catch it, you hold it...and live it.

The Imbiding Hole

Tonight is the moment of truth and delight,
feeling so stun about how life and death are the only I have.
Baby it is time to run and look at the sky, our eyes will be bright.
My mouth is so dry.
My hands are paper where time has drawn the lines.
Tomorrow is a maybe, should it be something else?
Many questions in such a small space.
I can handle it, it is just a matter of time.
I can handle it, it’s just a matter of time and space.

I’ve created this maze,
Dazzling, astounding sparks of images reminding the me from yesterday.

As I walk I think, I smile, and hope fill my mind and body.
Baby, that black hole will defeat us if we don’t hurry.

We’ve lived so many things here, the worst and the best.
Too many opposite things in such a small space.
I can handle it, it’s just a matter of time.
I can handle it, it’s just a matter of time and space.

The black hole is on my back, no light no sight.
Life goes by, no sensations, no feelings…it is just a matter of time.Time goes by, we grab it and we lose it at the same time.

FrG.

The Strip

it feels like freedom...do i even know what freedom is? right now i have the complete domain of myself. I could fly if i wished to.
Today I can run and feel the air in my face, without fear. Time has no meaning, rules are in vain. This is what i have been willing for such a long time. Now that I have it...well...sometimes i do not know how to handle things..i still feel this treacherous bond sucking me so hard...leaving me breathless.. confusing me. I just want to find the scissors to cut this melancolic strip...for good.

P.S. If someone could see my life through a lens, everything would seem to be perfect, my surroundings, my stuff, my job, my friends....THE PERFECT LIFE I SHOULD SAY. It's funny how incongruous all this is in comparison with my inner side.

fRg.

YOU WERE Y COMPASS

ALL BY MYSELF, I AM SO SCARED!
IS THERE ANY GOOD THING COMING UP?
I HOPE SO, ALTHOUGH I AM LOSING HOPE EVERY PASSING DAY.

The Number 23

"There's no such thing as destiny. There are only different choices. Some choices are easy, some aren't. Those are the really important ones, the ones that define us as people."

23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 f 23 r 23 a 23 g 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 32 32 32 32 32 32 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23

"Of course time is just a killing system... numbers with meanings attached to them. "
Walter Sparrow (Topsy Kretts) 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 2 32 3 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 f 23 r 23 a 23 g 23 m 23 a 23 t 23 a 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23

Slave of the routine . .

A hoax this has been. Cheating on myself a long time ago.

I've been a slave of the routine, and it feels like a fingernail running down a chalkboard.

I was blind, or maybe I didn't want to see, because fear is a demon that turns your mind blind and your heart like an iceberg; bertaying yourself, acting against you...

I've been carriyng a bag full of anger and cans labeld as: "C O N F U S I O N".

I'm trapped in a maze like a mouse used for a psychological experiment.

It has been so heavy, than now my shoulders feel as if i had been lugging a high school back pack. I'm tired, exhausted, fearful, sad, desperate, anxious, upset. . . sometimes I just want to cry, and S C R E A M with all my strength, telling how much I love you and how much you are my reason for living, that I'm so angry to be in this stage, separated...but knowing that it is for the best. . .

Re-birth has come again, and this particular game I do not know how to play . . . where are the instructions? The rules? How am I supposed to know how to play the cards without you here. . . . . You have been my companion and the most faithful witness of every movement I made.

I'm scared, for sure I am. The path I was following suddenly became so blurry I am almost falling with every step I take. I miss you and I n e e d you, but at the same time, this is for the best, in the name of our dreams and plans we had gathered together like leaves on autumn.

So insecure I feel, I'm naked, vulnerable, cold and alone...and yet, you are always here in my mind...telling me to be strong...'cause this is for the best, RIGHT? . . . . . . Yes, I guess it is.

F r AG. . .

The Straight Story

The Straight Story
Dirección: David Lynch
Guión: Jhon Roach, Mary Sweeney
Actuación: Sissy Spacek, Richard Farmsworth, Joseph A. Carpenter
Producción: Pierre Edelman
Fotografía: Freddie Francis
Música: Angelo Badalamenti
EUA/ UK/FRANCIA 1999
Por: Tania Uribe (http://www.fgmta.blogspot.com/)

Alvin Straight, es un hombre de 73 años que personifica una dualidad inevitable: la vida y la muerte. A pesar de ser un viejo enfermo de la vista y de sus caderas, Alvin se prepara para aventurarse en un viaje (probablemente el ultimo de su vida) con destino a Mount Zion, lugar donde habita su hermano enfermo. Debido a su delicada salud diagnosticada por el doctor, Alvin no puede conducir un auto para llegar a ver a su hermano, por lo que decide unir su podadora de césped a un viejo remolque con el propósito de emprender un viaje a través de los Estados Unidos y volver a ver a su hermano Lyle, con el que ha estado peleado por mas de 10 años. A lo largo de su viaje se encuentra con personas con quienes entabla relaciones cortas pero llenas de significado. En cada una de ellas deposita historias de su vida y su juventud, haciendo que el alma de Alvin rejuvenezca de nuevo por un momento. Cada historia nos deja pensando qué hemos hecho para disfrutar la vida al máximo, si hemos sido capaces de sobrellevar esos pequeños detalles a los que a veces les damos mucha importancia. Cada relato contado nos hace conocer mas a Alvin, su pasado y su presente, sin la necesidad de que el director haga una reconstrucción de su vida para entender porqué ha decidido hacer ese viaje de esa manera. Las seis semanas que tardó en llegar a su destino final significan para Alvin el proceso de enfrentar su orgullo y olvidar viejas heridas para volver a ver a su hermano con un alma nueva. David Lynch nos presenta una historia verdadera y honesta, diferente a todas sus demás películas (exceptuando El Hombre Elefante). Aquí no hay acertijos sin resolver, ni personajes extraños, ni historias sin sentido. Con The Straight Story nos muestra que además de eso, es capaz de narrar historias sencillas, conmovedoras y llenas de sentido. Ampliamente recomendada.
f r a g

GHOSTS

There are ghosts flying once in a while. Some people say they don't exists, I say they do. Memories are like ghosts.

Memories are forever.

Unconsciously we keep them locked in a coffin.

At this moment of my life, a magical key appeared in my bed.

Anytime I feel ready, I unlock a ghost. My room starts to freeze, and I don't feel comfortable anymore, but this feelings are worth it, because I know the reward is knowing myself a bit more.

This ghosts don't scare me at all, on the contrary, I'm willing to see them, confronting them, yelling to go away...

frag

A kiss to send us off

Here I am

there you are

on a wire connecting our hearts

there’s a string

that is tied

to a kite

There’s a storm

in the sky

now the clouds become electric

There you are.

Here I am

Could I…Have a…Kiss to send us off?

Eventhough...

Eventhough tears run down my face, or a smile draws in my mouth...
So many feelings inside me like rivers of emotions never felt before and I'm soaking.
Am I awake? Cause sometimes I don't know where I'm standing....everything is b l u r r y ...I try to grab things, but they vanish like fish from the fisherman. I have dReAmS and hopes, these two words that are a key to survive in a world full of . . . (can't find the proper words).

El año y el mes de excelentes conciertos: MARZO 2007

Camera Obscura

Ayer 10 de febrero Camera Obscura, grupo escoces directo desde Glasgow, dio un concierto en el Polyforum Siqueiros, al lado del WTC. A pesar de la laaaaarga espera afuera del lugar y del frio que hacía, todos nos llevamos un muy buen sabor de boca. El lugar estuvo bastante ad hoc al estilo de musica del grupo, musica tranquila, y un lugar pequeño, con poca gente, incluso los podías ver y escuchar sentado en el piso. Tocaron durante aproximadamente una hora casi todas las canciones de su ultimo disco "let's get out of ths country", y no podía faltar el jubilo de la gente al escuchar los primeros acordes de "hey Lloyd, I'm REady to Be Heartbroken". Ninguno de los cinco podía creer el fanatismo de la gente mexicana por sus canciones, incluso Tracyanne Campbell lo expresó en inglés, "Mexico is the best City of the world!" Muy bien por Noiselab al haberlos traído, y para quienes no hayan escuchado de ellos, metanse a su pagina www.camera-obscura.net y escuchen un poco de su musica sentimental al estilo de Belle and Sebastian.

frag

The small details...

People are like robots, interpreting life the same way everytime. Their eyes don't know that there are some small details hidden cautiously everywhere, like germs on dirty hands. They don't know those small details make a GREAT difference on how life REALLY is. Their lifes are shallow, senseless, like an empty box of cookies. Fortunately, those little details have appeared to my sight, making my life much more complex, but pleasant and full of emotions. Those Germs are everywhere. You try to take them away, but I try to keep them close to me.

^frag

Lost in Translation

Lost in Transaltion (Perdidos en Tokio)
Por: Tania Uribe
Dirección y guión: Sofia Coppola
Producción: Francis Ford Coppola y Sofia Coppola
Actuaciones: Scarlett Johansson, Hill Murria, Giovanni Ribisi,
Fotografía: Lance Acord
Música: Kevin Shields
EUA/Japón, 2003

La mayoría de las veces lo sencillo tiende a brindarnos mucha mas satisfacción que lo complicado. El ser humano tiende a complicarse demasiado las acciones de su vida pensando que así, las consecuencias serán mucho más fructíferas y placenteras. Este ejemplo lo aplico al cine, y es que muchas veces una película sencilla, pero bien manejada, da resultados fascinantes, atrapándonos en su historia. Lost In Translation es un ejemplo de esto. La historia es sencilla: Bob Harris, un actor americano que visita la ciudad de Tokio donde fue contratado para filmar comerciales de una bebida, y Charlotte, la joven esposa de un fotógrafo profesional, dedicado casi todo el tiempo a su trabajo, dejando en la vida de Charlotte un vacío. Las dos historias se conectan, ya que Bob Y Charlotte se encuentran hospedados en el mismo hotel. A pesar de estar rodeados de millones de personas, los dos se sienten completamente solos. Charlotte, por un lado, trata de buscar su lugar en el mundo, mientras Bob trata de encontrar un lugar en su vida monótona a lado de su esposa. Separados y a la vez juntos, Bob y Charlotte experimentan una enorme confusión debido a las diferencias culturales y de lenguaje que existen entre ellos y los japoneses. Se dan cuenta que por no compartir la misma cultura ni el mismo lenguaje, no pertenecen a este mundo, hay una barrera que no les permite poder interactuar. La barrera se rompe cuando los dos se conocen y pueden platicar e identificarse con su misma cultura y con ellos mismos. Es aquí cuando la historia arranca con más fuerza, viendo como los dos ya pueden interactuar con la cultura de los japoneses, teniéndose el uno al lado del otro, sintiéndose mucho mas seguros por la misma identidad que se ofrecen recíprocamente.
Sofia Coppola nos ofrece una historia bien contada que también nos propone reflexionar sobre ese momento en el que alguna vez nos hemos sentido así, SOLOS, a pesar de todos los que nos rodean, tratándonos de encontrar para así poder interactuar en el mundo. La película además nos propone que los idiomas construyen mundos distintos entre cada cultura y mientras no lo sepas hablar, no eres parte de éste.
Finalmente, a medida que su relación se hace más profunda, se dan cuenta que en algún momento se tendrán que alejar ya que su visita a Japón está por terminar, aunque el final nos deja con un gran signo de interrogación: ¿realmente se separan?

by frag

Escrito publicado en la Chakota enero / febrero