Sunday, December 14, 2008

Bricks

Limitations and a red line, what is right and wrong always glued on my forehead. All this mixture create a mask and a wall I dont wanna carry on my back. Fake illusions, always trying to give the correct amount of sympathy for them. But in the end, that was it: just fake illusions. I keep wondering, is it me? do I have the key for compasion?, is there a magical spell to open the door of happiness?
where is the red botton?

Many others think all this pressure is for granted.
Those many others think they have this keen eye.
Those particular others....

Sometimes I feel I am pushing this to hard.
Sometimes I just feel I have to let the flow go.
Sometimes I literally feel like choking on the unawareness of their sight.

All this demons I´ve created are becoming spies, witnessess of my future plans.
I hope they keep quiet.
I hope they keep staring, mouthless and cautious.
...for the sake of my mind.

f.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

The H sonnet for Love

for many years you've been more of a hindrance than a help
your "true" presence seems to be a hoax
and the consequence: bewildered minds
your words are a hodgepodge of senses inside and,
in spite of all these, I consantly pay homage to this Queen,
the Master of all times
the Greatest part of my life: "a hearty greeting to L O V E ".


frags.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Reflex


As strange as it may seem, this constant movement inside is motivating.
Far from wanting to flee, (or else dissappear to feel safe), my "vulnerable self" is kept still, motionless by the gaze.
I look askance. Half closed, "tired eyelids".
My mind doesn't stop thinking:
Is this is a sign of victory?
Does this mirror reflects me as I am? I am scared of what I see, of what I feel.
Here is the ladder.
fgmta.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

antics


...I swallowed the letter. Each word cut my throat. Each sentence tore my flesh from inside. I kept wondering why I felt so much anger every time I swallowed a piece of paper. Blood came out in tears. Everything you wrote was a sharp knife. Eventhough i never knew what you wrote. I bleeded myself dry, and my heart is white now. I still keep wondering what was written in that letter.

F.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Fixing

Invisible.
I don't want the staring.
My heart is blaming herself.

F.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Panic Attack

blurry sight
fear ghosts pass by

you have so much to give
and so much to receive

the clock is ticking
time is waiting to be taken

here, take it, this one is for you
only your soul will know what to do

i am here, heart open
the rest is still unwritten
this story depends on you

frag.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

dunes

fear is the mind killer
we haven't met
don't hesitate
both are one
hearts unite
don't waste time
our love is passionate
we must be brave
don't step back
too good to be true
no reason to be over
don't navigate
i love u
you love me
the only thing that matters.
frag.

seven days

time traveller
1 second
i need her
the other minute
i want her
endlessly
eternally
[(((for a moment i want to rip my heart)))
(((my mind)))
(((my face)))
and become a non - hearted stranger
without you my heart is lost
dead
melancholic]

time traveller
i am seeking for boundaries
to delimit my space & mind
to delimit my heart
and avoid the leaks of love

time traveller
a light of love
i am just waiting for that precise second
so my eyes can see her again

and start this story
this cycle
for eternal life
frag.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

so much to give

i walk
i see
i think
i conclude
two distant hearts
one meaningful feeling
i need to see you
i so much need to feel you
i trust
i believe
don't want to fall
don't want to be hurt
my head is up
my heart is anxious
on behalf of love: this is mine
i got so much to give
frag

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Masks

1.

When I was a little girl, I found a green mask hidden in one of the attics’ corner. I blew the dust off. I took it close to my face and focused my sight through the tiny eye holes.
What a surprise! My view became black and white. All of a sudden, colors vanished like leaves on winter. Everything was blurry. I felt perverse.

(I was capable to see life passing by in a different way through those tiny eye holes.)
I put it on, and it felt good. I felt secure. I felt confidence. It was not me. I was extraneous of my outside. I did not know everything was fake, that nothing was REAL.
Maybe I was just pretending to be someone else.


Since then, I always had on my green mask.
This other self was the only thing I had for real...it felt so green.

No words felt like knifes anymore.
No rocks of pain could hurt my little body.
No more blood, no more tears.

But it was not me.


I got lost.
I didn’t recognize myself. This mask, I couldn’t take it off my face.I was living another life, my mask was guiding me through the wrong path.
Anxiety
Negative thoughts.

Wrong words spoken.
Right words unspoken.
I wasn’t able to domain my own self!

I'm DEAD.

- 2 -

When I was 18 years old, I decided to take my green mask off my face.
Once a delicate voice told me:
Don’t fight against the mask, you can take it off anytime you want, it is just a matter of deciding it by your own means”
I took it off.

God It was painful!

III
A door opened.
I felt free.
The air smelled different.
Things felt smoother.
My sight recovered its colors.
Unspoken words came out of my mouth.
I threw my ego into a pit.
No more boundaries.
No more guilt.
This basket full of Freudian stuff will be kept locked in my attic.


F.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I

Foto: Tania Uribe '08

So out of time and place.
I feel the magic that embraces.
A magical touch drawing the last trace.
Is this the path?
Is this the right way for happiness?
I want this to function.
I want to be of use.
I want to be functional.
I want to give you peace.

frag.


Monday, April 7, 2008

Tag me




Welter in my own sweat, weltering and weltered.

Peevish I am, untouchable by hands, untouchable by words and silence.
Something is inside of me, something I can feel.
A hunk of peace, a piece of riot; and yet, nothing makes sense at all.
My bed has become a foe for my dreams, and my sight astray, not ready to focus.
Fear is now my ally and witness, watching my life pass by.
Mocking me. Laughing at me.
I have no self-control.
I bend, I beg, I bet this is only a matter of time.

frag

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Lost & found souls

...roaming in my black suit, waiting for the love of my life.
Thought I had it, lost and found it.

Blinded by a ray of light....and yet, it seemed so real.
My hands were capable, they felt it, or thought they did.
My heart excited, so happy feeling this red thing.

Life is a mixture of souls, some vanish, some persist.
She is one of those. Pink color costume, shiny and tiny.
She just makes me so happy I could cry.
When I touch her I melt inside.

When I see her, I burn.
...when she smiles back at me I die.
...it stops, breathless, motionless: yes she loves me back.

I've been wandering, looking for the love of my life.
There you are, I found you.
I stare at you.
I LOVE YOU.


frag.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Love, evoL


I am a CUPCAKE LOVER!
'Cause they make my life Sweeter
&
Better

frag.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

El acto geométrico del amor

Ocurre en la tercera dimensión
donde el destino,
es la resultante a la
tercer coordenada.
G. Tagle. "Esquirlas"


X - nom
Y - nat

...y mi destino eres Tu.

Heart fulfillment


"Can't you see what you've done to my heart...

...and soul?

This is a Waste Land now..."

-P.Banks-

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Numb


Watching the cord passing by. So many nights, so many visions.
Extremely sure of the unwanted, please! no pain & no fear! I plead for it FASTER! Days run, seconds fly, and yet, everything is the same. Some say: "don't force it, it will come, just let it be, let it flow."And this is how it goes: me staring at the moon, smoking, thinking, living? It doesn't matter, feelings doesn't matter, she says....

FraG.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Si

Tus ojos me dicen que si.
Tus manos me dicen que si.
¡Tus nervios me lo dicen!
Tu respiración. Esa tensión que siento cuando estoy a tu lado.
Tus gestos. Tus dedos en la pierna, en constante movimiento.
Invitando a los míos a darles calma. A decirles: SI.
Tu sonrisa.
Simplemente tus ojos me dicen que si.
Y los míos, los míos aceptan la invitación.

Frag.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

stolen breathe.
beating hearts.
sweaty hands and namless acts.
words unspoken.
feels confronting.
dancing lips and complex facts.

frag.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Strange things happen...



not trying to understand why...or how...

you just came by and I said hi.

not trying to understand why...or how...
it is just that:
strange things happen all the time...
don't run, don't say goodbye...
hello stranger!

frag

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The book of light pt. 1


Oh yeah...so good, so sweet, so calm. The sky...I can see it. No clouds, no rain, just blue, so clear!

I feel fine, holding hands, we can reach heaven.
I believe, yes, I believe I can!
I feel no fear, no guilt. I have the key!
Love is red. They say. Love is grey.
Let's run! Let's Hide!
Stuck? Stuck in the middle.
But one day, there will be one day...when I can see the sky again.
A smile on my face, my heart on my chest.
No pain, just memories like drops draining in the face.
"Relief...oh yeah! so good, so sweet, so calm" - I whisper to you.


fgmta

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

My lost soul

Don't know exactly what is happening.
Thought this would be harder, but right now I am floating.
I don't catch the images in my mind.
I try to grab one, but it melts as I try to stare at it and comprehend.
I am floating in this grey water. Moving my hands drawing a path.
The moon above is the witness of my deception.
She just pulls me back, avoiding to commit the same mistake again.
"Don't use your hands, just let the flow slow"
"Don't go back there, there are many ways out"
My treacherous mind! sometimes white, sometimes black!
Don't want to grab the polaroids.
Don't want to develop any picture of what reminds of you inside of me.
"Time will tell...don't get lost. Keep on floating. I am keeping an eye on you"

frag